1999! Bruce Springsteen was inducted into the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame.
Look at me! Trying to funk up your trunk! Mess up your internet ride with a line that resembles something that would pop out of the gums of VH1 Classic's That Metal Shows Eddie Trunk.
You do realize if he tried to get in today he'd be blasted off the map by Hip Hop, Pop Rock and Bongo Rock first made famous on $2.99 K-Tel collections.
What's interesting about the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame is their lack of shellac. Once in there's no need for spit shining. I mean! There's nothing going on...except another list of names linked to fame and somehow, someway just because they played it's always just enough to push them beyond the voices and writers that influenced not just them but their parents.
But then again would you really want to be there? Hall of Fames lack pride settling more on price. Not the price musicians pay fighting to stay alive another day but nice is the price asked for slips of paper called tickets.
Nobody's interested because everything you've got inside we get on line. Double click then sit and watch the video, check out the album sleeves, read a bio or pick up on a groupie story about life behind the wall of fame.
The Country Music Hall of Fame in Nashville doesn't even like to have fun!
At least the folks at Hard Rock tried to generate some interest when building a theme park in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. It featured rollercoaster's that blasted Rock through well hidden speakers in the front of each car. Zeppelin and The Eagles screamed with coaster terror while The Moody Blues went the way of being 3D mellow as a mushroom. A little mind melting but fans of the bands got it. It was an easy concept to digest.
At midnight the lake blew up with fireworks while Bohemian Rhapsody from Queen shook the earth moving below your feet.
But like "Great" Rock...the scene died pretty quickly.
Mark my words Train, Moron 5, Lady Gaga and Usher will be featured members in the Hall of Fame way ahead of Boston, Skynard, Def Leopard and REO Speedwagon.
All this talk about Rock makes me look like an old fart stuffed into a jar waitin to get out, "In my day harmony wasn't a computer program. Damn big fights broke out on long bus rides cuz someone thinking they were smarter went all out Mariah Carey and bent their notes twelve times before quieting down."
The thought of high school graduates from 2013 not soaking up the suds of what it was like to scan boxes and crates overflowing with album covers and 45's should disconnect their generation of superstars from the pages of marketing weight.
Downloading musical vibes isn't a Rock n Roll fantasy.
The first time I popped Bob Seger into an 8-Track tape player in the car we were partying with the cattle in an open field in Montana. We got so drunk half the people there were left behind because the lyrics of Hot Blooded from Foreigner weren't in focus so we'd fight over the assumption of what Mic Jones might have written.
We were busted in downtown Billings the night Van Halen fell into my lap. We called it the Point. Cars cruising without worrying about gas being wasted. Rob was a great kid, always trying to be funny picked up a BB Gun from the floor and the cops instantly started doing the math: Saturday night plus loud Van Halen plus object that looked like a gun equals...blue lights. Every time I hear Jamie's Crying I can still feel how much I had to pee while the men in blue looked through everything.
Ok...so here's the reason why this trip through Alice's Wonderland was brought up. A fricken Bruce Springsteen video from 1973. On stage opening for Dr. Hook.
All I want you to see...is how the way it used to be. Poet's with pens. Master's of a musical universe. Their only mission was to commission their art.
To go with the video... a little poetry from Rock's best magazine: The Rollingstone
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